-
Lifting the lid of the termite farm
I recently had a disappointing experience where I got some disturbing clarity about a number of things. It’s painful to realize that others have used you and your private expression over a number of years in order to support their own psychodrama, casting you, baselessly, as a perpetual villain while they get to take turns…
-
A Culmination / mythologies / Maybe being jaded isn’t so bad
Some life points are more pivotal, more decisive than others. Things build over time, a culmination of moments, hours, days, weeks, months. Sometimes things can brew. Sometimes fragile things grow. Sometimes there are thin spots, where every moment feels intimate, fleeting, leaving one in gratitude. Moments that only happen because of a drooping openness, a…
-
search for a righted world
I don’t remember ever being so frazzled by travel before. I’ve usually really enjoyed the adventure as I made my way somewhere new or familiar. This time was different. Even packing and cleaning my house before leaving and making arrangements felt more laborious than ever before, almost like I’d never packed before in terms of…
-
lava finds its way to the surface and destroys the landscape
Sometimes, I’m an awful individual to the people closest or most impactful to me. Usually this is because I get so wrapped up in experiencing suffering that I feel it’s down to survival to strike preemptively even if there’s not an immediate threat. The lessons of the destructiveness I can inflict while in this state…
-
Moveable feats
Recovery continues to be a good slog. I can drive now, and use a cane much more often than crutches. I’ve been to the store more than a few times, take myself to the swimming pool, and attend physical therapy as an outpatient nearby. Sometimes, afterwards, I’ll pick up a coffee, and because I don’t…
-
Two steps forward….
Excitingly, I had my frame removed last week. Since then, I’ve been sleeping between 9-12 hours/night and am still finding my feet, quite literally. I’m now in a walking boot, which I actually only MUST wear for going out, but it feels protective to keep it on more often than not in my apartment. I…
-
Going places
The PAM has lofted a new program called VR to Go, where one rents a pre-programmed Oculus headset for a weekend. It sold out fast, I reserved a headset in November for this past weekend. The friend I shared the rental with drove us into town on Friday to pick it up, we watched it…
-
twigs and feathers
Now I’m back in my place having returned from the nether-region of things that are hidden from most US citizens that was life in skilled nursing. Some combination of boredom, necessity, a low-key birthday and simple need led me down the path of prime day shopping. As much as I hate Jeff Bezos, I was…
-
re-framed
I’m now a little more than 1 week post-op and am sporting a new Taylor Spatial Frame on my right ankle. Last time, I had Ilazarov frames. My new frame is special in that it has six areas with screws that attach the bottom to middle frame which one turns incrementally each day using a…
-
the mess
The first time I had ankle surgery, it was on accident. I had had no choice but to trust the medical personnel taking care of me, at a point when my trust in institutions and helping people in general was pretty low. I was really lucky to land in excellent, compassionate hands with my surgeon.…